you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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