I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
