Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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