Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
