i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
