Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
