the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
