so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Randomize
