I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
