"it" just moved
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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