fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
