we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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