I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Randomize
