I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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