Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
