bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
