So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
