She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
