Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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