He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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