So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
