Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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