After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
