now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
