Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
