Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
