i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
