What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
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