Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize