ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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