this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
