I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
