Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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