I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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