Its about making memories worth repressing
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
