dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
