If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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