My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
