I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
