We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
is wine microwaveable?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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