About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
