his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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