Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
