I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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