i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
