I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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