Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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