the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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