so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
my god I love twenty year old dicks
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
