i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
