paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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